“The loveless heart will be cured only when we know and are convinced of the love that Christ has for unworthy sinners like us. We must ever guard against doing what is formally right without putting our heart in what we are doing. We must not be like those who draw near to God with their mouth and honor Him with their lips, but whose heart is far from Him (Matthew 7:6-7). May God grant us a faith in Christ that is genuine and true, which joyously and spontaneously expresses itself in deeds of compassion, service, and love.”
 
-Nicholas Batzig, Tabletalk, May 2013.

Article: The Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness

Joel Beeke writes: “Man is not naturally inclined to face sickness and death well. The unbeliever lives for the here and now, and this life is everything to him. He dreams of a life free of illness and adversity, even free of death. His life consists of the pursuit of happiness, and he would want to live here forever if that were attainable. The ungodly therefore respond in anger and bitterness when illness and/or death interrupts their pursuit of a vain happiness that so often eludes them.

If only it were true that Christians were free of such sinful emotions and such a sinful response to illness and death. When serious illness and the possibility of death suddenly intrude our lives, such a struggle arises in our hearts. The flesh can rear its ugly head when the prospect of chronic or terminal illness dramatically alters the course of our lives.

Such an unbecoming reaction to divinely sent affliction will, however, be a matter of grief to the believer, as it is the desire of his renewed inner man to surrender fully to the providential leadings of his heavenly Father. How intense the prayerful struggle to surrender wholeheartedly to a God who in His sovereign wisdom is slaying me in order to accomplish His purpose in my life!

And yet such wholehearted surrender alone will enable us to face the reality of illness or the inescapable prospect of death. Such surrender enabled Job to say that he would still trust the God who was slaying him and had thrust him into the furnace of affliction. “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:5). The grace of God prevailed mightily in a man who, on another occasion, cursed the day he was born.

Clearly, only the sustaining grace of God can enable us to face sickness and death as a Christian—that is, as someone who trusts his heavenly Father and the unfailing promises of His Word. We must learn to make use of these promises when serious trials become our portion. Only by appropriating God’s precious covenantal promises will we be able to rise above our circumstances and trust our heavenly Father when nothing appears to make any sense. We must learn to judge God by His Word rather than our feelings and circumstances.

Such unwavering trust enabled Paul and Silas to sing God’s praises when they found themselves in abysmal circumstances (Acts 16:22–24). Such trust enabled countless believers throughout the ages to remain steadfast during seasons of great trial. Christ wanted to teach His disciples this great lesson when He came to them in a raging storm. He first calmed their hearts by speaking to them before silencing the storm. His objective was to teach them (and us!) that in the midst of grievous trials, they should first consider His Word rather than circumstances.

What are some of the promises we can prayerfully appropriate when facing sickness or death?

• “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee” (Isa. 49:15). Even when God leads us in ways that are far beyond our understanding, God cannot forget His own. His eye will always be upon those who fear Him.
• “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). Even through sickness and death, God is working things together for the spiritual good of those who love Him, conforming them to the image of His Son (v. 29).
  

This is only a small sample of the many promises our heavenly Father wants us to appropriate by faith. What a blessing when God’s grace enables us to say with the psalmist, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust” (Ps. 56:3–4)! Only by faith (a gracious gift of God) can we face sickness and death and echo the words of Psalm 112:7: “[I] shall not be afraid of evil tidings: [my] heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord.”

-Joel Beeke
Used by permission.  Reformation Heritage Books 2014 

Via Jon Payne:

“A few personal thoughts on the current crisis—

1. I mourn in solidarity with my black friends and neighbors over the death of George Floyd, and the detestable police brutality that led to it. I share in your righteous anger. I pray for George’s family, community, and all who mourn his death. May we all turn to God for grace and healing.

2. This sickening and unjust act, one of thousands that take place around the world every day, is one more clear example of the fallenness, brokenness, and sinful corruption of humanity. We are all culpable. We have “all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). It’s not only this Minneapolis police officer who needs God’s grace, forgiveness, and mercy. We all do.

3. Peaceful protests, no matter what the cause, are an important facet of a well-ordered democracy and civil society. It’s important that ordinary citizens have a voice. It’s important to stand for what is right. However, the wanton violence and destruction of anarchists, gangs, and hate groups are never to be tolerated. As MLK once said during the civil rights movement, “violence never brings permanent peace.” There is a big difference between peaceful protesters and violent anarchists, a distinction that many are presently failing to make.

4. I am deeply grateful for the hundreds of thousands of faithful police officers that put their lives on the line every day to keep our streets and communities … and my family … safe. The unjust and wicked behavior of a few bad cops does not incriminate the whole. Isn’t this common sense? On Saturday I read a sign at a protest here in Charleston that said “Abolish Cops.” Could you imagine a society without law-enforcement? My guess is that the confused young girl holding up that sign would be thankful for the police if the same ruffians who destroyed downtown Charleston were trying to break into her home.

5. Racism is evil. It is evil in all forms. There is but ONE human race, not numerous races. We are all — black, brown, white — created in the image of God. We are all, every one, created with dignity and worth, no matter what background or ethnicity. Therefore, if or when any of us has racist beliefs or tendencies, we must acknowledge and repent of them. Racism is not the only sin in the world, but it’s a serious one.

6. The mainstream media — whether liberal or conservative — does not communicate a Biblical worldview. It’s not their aim or purpose. Therefore, dear Christian, give more attention to your Bible and prayer than the incendiary and politically-charged cable news networks. Don’t get swept up in the chaotic tsunami of political rage presently being aired on the 24 hour news cycle. Yes, as believers we want to be (cautiously) informed by the media; but not gullibly transformed in its wake.

7. This world is not our home. Like Abraham, we, by faith, joyfully anticipate “a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Heb. 11:16a). This, of course, does not mean that we do not seek justice for our neighbors in this present evil age. This does not mean that we ignore wickedness in our society like the murder of innocent unborn children, sexual abuse, racism, and (most significantly) the rejection of God. However, unlike those who hold to a materialistic/atheistic/communistic worldview, we are not looking for social and political utopia in this world. Our hope is not in political philosophies and better politicians. We recognize that there will always be sin in this fallen world, and that perfect justice will only be administered at the coming of Christ — “For he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness and the peoples with equity” (Ps. 98:9). Only then will “justice roll down like the waters” as it should (Amos 5:24).

8. The Gospel is our only true and lasting hope in this broken and sin-torn world. We are all sinners — no matter what social status, rank, or color of our skin. Our greatest need — the need beyond all other needs — is reconciliation with our holy God. Sin has separated us from God. This separation has brought untold miseries into our lives and the world. We are experiencing them now. Mankind has gone his own way, and we see the results — destruction, misery, death. But God did not leave us to perish in our sin and misery. He did not leave us without true and lasting hope. God sent His beloved and eternal Son into the world to save us from our guilt and sin. He sent His Son into the world to become one of us without ceasing to be God. Why? To perfectly fulfill God’s righteous standard (the one we fail to keep every day); and then, as a sinless sacrifice, he paid the debt of our sins on the cursed cross. Christ died for us! Jesus bore God the Father’s righteous wrath on the cross for OUR sins. He paid the penalty of God’s judgment for OUR transgressions, and he rose from the dead on the third day. Jesus truly is the resurrection and the life. Salvation has come in Him.

Therefore, through faith in Jesus sinners receive life — full pardon for all our sins and the very righteousness of God in Christ. In Christ we are no longer condemned, but justified. In Christ there is no longer enmity, but peace with God (Rom. 5:1). This is the good news that pierces through the darkness of our present hour. “The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23).

May we all, by grace through God-given faith, repent and turn our hearts to Christ. May we turn to God during these dark days of pandemics and civil unrest. Christ is the only true and lasting hope for this broken world. Thankfully, one day our crucified and risen Savior will return in triumph, judge the world in righteousness, usher the redeemed into glory, and wipe every tear from our tired eyes. May he not tarry long! Come, Lord Jesus.”

-Pastor Jon Payne

Photo by Gregory Hayes on Unsplash

“The Christian is a man … who lives with his heavenly destiny ever in full view. His outlook is not bounded by the present life and the present world. He sees that which is and that which is to come in their true proportions and in their proper perspective. The centre of gravity of his consciousness lies not in the present but in the future. Hope, not possession, is that which gives tone and colour to his life. His is the frame of mind of the heir who knows himself entitled to large treasures upon which he will enter at a definite point of time.”

- Geerhardus Vos

Expecting the Expected

Paul Tripp writes: “Jim got sick and had to forsake his climb up the corporate ladder. This brought stress into his marriage to Jen that he would never have anticipated. Brad and Savannah got busier and busier and quit communicating as they should, and their relationship paid the price. Brent struggled with a secret sin for years, and when Liz discovered it, it almost ended their marriage. India and Frank always seemed to be in a battle for control. It was an exhausting marriage to be a part of. Alfie and Sue never seemed to be in the same place spiritually. Jared and Sally had an infectious affection for one another, but their financial woes brought much stress to their marriage. Jung’s mother pulled her into loyalty battles again and again. It caused lots of conflict between her and Kim.

There are two observations to make about all these marriages. First, none was a bad marriage. No one was about to walk out. No one had been unfaithful as yet. There had been no abuse or violence. But none was experiencing what God had in mind when he created their union in the first place. And all of them were surprised at what they had to face as a couple.

Second, everything that each couple faced is predicted by command, principle, proposition, or perspective in the Bible. These couples should have expected the expected. If they had approached the Bible as a wonderful window onto their marriage, they would have known what to expect and not been surprised at what came their way.

So what are the essential wisdom perspectives that Scripture gives us that enable us to have realistic expectations for our marriage?

1. You Are Conducting Your Marriage in a Fallen World

We all face the same thing. Our marriages live in the middle of a world that does not function as God intended. Somehow, someway, your marriage is touched every day by the brokenness of our world. Maybe it simply has to do with the necessity of living with the low-grade hassles of a broken world, or maybe you are facing major issues that have altered the course of your life and your marriage. But there is one thing for sure: you will not escape the environment in which God has chosen you to live. It is not an accident that you are conducting your marriage in this broken world. It is not an accident that you have to deal with the things you do.

God decided to leave you in this fallen world to live, love, and work, because he intended to use the difficulties you face to do something in you that couldn’t be done any other way. You see, most of us have a personal happiness paradigm. Now, it is not wrong to want to be happy, and it is not wrong to work toward marital happiness. God has given you the capacity for enjoyment and placed wonderful things around you to enjoy. The problem is not that this is a wrong goal, but that it is way too small a goal. God is working on something deep, necessary, and eternal. If he was not working on this, he would not be faithful to his promises to you. God has a personal holiness paradigm. Don’t be put off by the language here. The words mean that God is working through your daily circumstances to change you.

So, somehow, someway, this fallen world and what it contains will enter your door, but you do not have to be afraid. God is with you, and he is working so that these grieving things will result in good things in and through you.

2. You Are a Sinner Married to a Sinner

You and I just don’t get to be married to someone perfect. It seems true when you read it, but even though this seems obvious, many people get married with unrealistic expectations about who they are marrying. Here is the point: you both bring something into your marriage that is destructive to what a marriage needs and must do. That thing is called sin.
Most of the troubles we face in marriage are not intentional or personal. In most marriage situations, you do not face difficulty because your spouse intentionally did something to make your life difficult. Yes, in moments of anger that may happen. But most often, what is really happening is that your life is being affected by the sin, weakness, and failure of the person you are living with. So, if your wife is having a bad day, that bad day will splash up on you in some way. If your husband is angry with his job, there is a good possibility that he will bring that anger home with him.

At some point you will be selfish. In some situation you will speak unkindly. There will be moments of jealousy, bitterness, and conflict. You will not avoid this, because you are a sinner and you are married to a sinner. If you minimize the heart struggle that both of you have carried into your marriage, here’s what will happen: you will tend to turn moments of ministry into moments of anger. When your ears hear and your eyes see the sin, weakness, or failure of your husband or wife, it is never an accident; it is always grace. God loves your spouse, and he is committed to transforming him or her by his grace, and he has chosen you to be one of his regular tools of change. So, he will cause you to see, hear, and experience your spouse’s need for change so that you can be an agent of his rescue.

God loves your spouse, and he is committed to transforming him or her by his grace.

3. God Is Faithful, Powerful, and Willing

There is one more reality that you have to include as you are trying to look at your marriage as realistically as possible. Not only must you consider the fallenness of the world you live in and the fact that both of you are less than perfect, but you must also remember that you are not alone in your struggle. The Bible says that God is near, so near that in your moment of need you can reach out and touch him because he is not far from each one of us (Acts 17:27). Yes, you live in a bad neighborhood (fallen world), and the two of you are less than perfect (sin), but in all this you are not left to your own resources. The God who determined your address lives there with you and is committed to giving you everything you need.

Consider for a moment what the empty tomb of the Lord Jesus Christ teaches us. First, it teaches us that God is faithful. Centuries earlier, after Adam and Eve had disobeyed God, God promised that he would crush wrong once and for all. So he sent his Son to defeat sin and death by his crucifixion and resurrection. He made a promise, and he controlled the events of history (large and small) so that at just the right moment Jesus Christ would come and fulfill what had been promised.

But the open tomb also reminds us that God is powerful. He is powerful in authority and powerful in strength. Could there be a more pointed demonstration of power than to have power over death? By God’s awesome power, Jesus took off his grave clothes and walked out of that tomb.

The empty tomb points us to one more amazing thing. It teaches us that God is willing. Why would he go to such an extent to help us? Why would he care to notice us, let alone rescue us? Why would he ever sacrifice his own Son? Because he is willing. You and I need to recognize that his willingness was motivated not by what he saw in us but by what is inside of him. He is willing because he is the definition of mercy.

Not Alone

So, when you are sinned against or when the fallen world breaks your door down, don’t lash out or run away. Stand in your weakness and confusion and say, “I am not alone. God is with me, and he is faithful, powerful, and willing.” You can be realistic and hopeful at the very same time. Realistic expectations are not about hope without honesty, and they are not about honesty without hope. Realism is found at the intersection of unabashed honesty and uncompromising hope. God’s Word and God’s grace make both possible in your marriage.
Are your expectations for your marriage realistic?”

This article is adapted from What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage by Paul David Tripp. Used by permission from Crossway.

As posted at: https://corechristianity.com/resource-library/articles/three-things-to-remember-about-your-imperfect-marriage